


What I Would Have Told You

by Sonsoflibertea



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 01:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonsoflibertea/pseuds/Sonsoflibertea
Summary: What Curt would have said if that day had gone differently.





	What I Would Have Told You

**Author's Note:**

> There are about 17 million things I should be doing, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so. Here.
> 
> Sorry if I make you sad. If it makes you feel any better, I also made myself sad.
> 
> TW for references to Owen's life as an agent of Chimera.

Owen… Owen, love… I’m here. I’m right here. I can tell you’re trying not to cry; it’s okay. It’s okay to cry if you want to. It’s just me and you,  _ they _ ’re gone… I won’t judge you, love, I promise…

Is it. Uh. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But… is it okay if I take a step closer?

Okay… I’m here… I’m right here. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Do you want to sit down, love? Here, right here on this step… I’m here. If you want to be close to me, if you want me to hold you… it’s your choice. I’m here. Whatever you need.

Oh, there, there, it’s okay… yeah, go ahead, right here on my shoulder… god, now I’m crying, too. Here, let me hold you… do you like that? Do you want me to keep running my fingers through your hair?

Owen… I just. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to tell you again, so I want to say it now. I love you. I love you… I love you… I love you…

It’s okay to be weak with me, okay? You’re… you’re allowed to cry, and to hurt, and to fall apart. I’ll be here. I  _ promise.  _ I’ll be here to put you back together again.

I’m never gonna know, fully, what it was like, when you were with… with  _ them.  _ No, it’s okay, love, we don’t have to say their name… whatever makes you comfortable. Don’t ever be scared to tell me you’re uncomfortable with something. I’ll listen. I’m not gonna get mad at you. I’m not… I’m not  _ them.  _ And I’m never going to know what that was like for you, but I know… I know that you’ve probably been holding a lot in for a long time. Scared to break, scared to  _ feel,  _ because it would make you vulnerable… I feel that way sometimes with, ya know, spy stuff… I know it’s not the same. But. My point… my point is that you can let that go. You can let it all go. Nobody’s gonna hurt you, or… or, god forbid,  _ punish _ you…

I’m so, so sorry, love… I’m so sorry that you’ve had to live like this, and I’m so sorry for the part I played in it…

I need you to know, love, that I have regretted that day, the day of… of the fall… I have spent four years regretting it. Leaving you there that day? That was the greatest mistake I’ve ever made. And I would be… I would be so honored to spend the rest of my life making up for that mistake. I mean. If you’ll have me.

Because--and stop me if you don’t want to talk about it now, I would understand completely--but.  _ They  _ don’t own you anymore. You’re free, love… you’re  _ free _ … 

I know it hurts now. I know your world has just been flipped upside-down for the second time in four years. I know you’re probably overwhelmed. But… does it help to just imagine it? Life after… after  _ them? _ No more contracts, or killing, or death, or pain… at least not  _ that _ kind of pain.  _ They _ ’ve done things to you that… well. I don’t ever want to lie to you. There are physical and emotional wounds that are gonna take a while to heal. But you won’t be hurting  _ alone.  _ Not if you don’t want to. Not if you’ll have me.

We may be a mess, love, but I’d rather be a mess with you than be anything  _ without _ you.

There, there… it’s okay, baby, I’m here…

God. Every day, every minute, every  _ second  _ that you… that you  _ belonged  _ to  _ them…  _ I wanna make up for it with hours and days and years of loving you. Holding you. Caring for you, being there for you, holding your hand, whatever you want from me, whatever you need from me. 

That is, if you’ll have me. Because you don’t… I feel silly even saying this, but I’ll say it anyway, in case it’s something you need to hear. You don’t belong to me. You don’t belong to  _ anyone. You _ get to choose now. No one looking over your shoulder, no one setting your schedule, giving you assignments, telling you where to be, who to hurt, who to kill… you never have to do any of that again.  _ Ever.  _ No one has the right to make you do anything you don’t want to.

I just hope it isn’t too late to help you believe that.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I’m here. I’m here, and I’ll be here as long as you want me, as long as you need me, you’re not alone…

You don’t deserve what they’ve done to you. You’re not the person they tried to make you. You’re not any less worthy or less capable of loving and being loved just because you’re broken. I’m broken, too. We can be broken together. We can build each other back up again. It’s not too late. It’s never too late.

Owen? Owen, can I kiss you? Owen, do you want me to hug you? To hold you? Owen, do you need me to carry you home? To dry your tears? To be strong for you?

Owen, please, let me help you… it isn’t too late…

It isn’t too late, but it will be…

Owen…

My love, my light, my world, my partner…

Will you have me?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, negative or positive, are appreciated. Thanks for reading


End file.
